A reader has shared a turbulent time she is passing through in her marriage with tori.ng, and she currently needs your advice.

Dear Tori News!

My Name is Fifi from Akwa Ibom. To the best of my understanding, I am a fairly beautiful woman of average height and chocolate skin but the highlight of my body structure is my behind which attracts lots of men.

I got married to my husband 7 years ago. Then he was working in one of the top commercial banks in Nigeria and was really earning big before a downsizing exercise at the bank rendered him jobless. Things became hard for us and he found it extremely hard to cater for the welfare of our two kids. Our woes were complicated with my joblessness. After 6 months, of submitting his resume endlessly to several companies, he got a job at a top audit firm in Lagos.

Fortune started smiling on us again until my husband realized his immediate boss called his counsellor was victimizing him by grading his performances so low so as to deter his promotion. This weighed him down alot. I stood by him as a wife and advised him to be strong. It got to a point where he was almost frustrated out of the firm as his mates started rising above him at work and issuing orders to him. We all know how turbulent this experience could be with reference to the experiences of those that repeated classes during their Secondary School days.

At the end of that year, 2013, my husband invited me for the company’s end of the year party at a popular event centre in Victoria Island, Lagos. It concided with a period where the company wanted to send some workers to the United Kingdom for a short course with massive financial benefits and an accrued accelerated promotion on successful completion.

It was a colourful event with so many expensive looking attendees at the event. He introduced me to his counsellor who started flirting with me. I reported the randy man to my husband that particular night but to my greatest surprise, he wasn’t moved. In fact I saw the excitement in his face like a plan was brewing. He advised me to play along and that he had a great plan. The pot-bellied man was so drunk that he touched virtually all the sensitive parts of my body. I wanted to slap him but I was scared of my husband’s fate.
In summary, I started sleeping with him on my husband’s order. He recommended my husband for the course abroad. Since then, the act has continued. My husband has graduated to passing me to another boss of his who is a partner in the firm. This is in a bid for promotional benefits. I have lost my dignity as a woman. My husband opened up to him that me having sex with influential people in the multinantional company is key to the achievement of his dream rather than hardwork. This breaks my heart and has given me sleepless nights and unending tears.

We had a disagreement last week and my husband shockingly called me a ‘prostitute’. That moment was like a nightmare I needed to wake up from. He later apologized but its appalling that he thinks of me in that realm when he is the architect of my predicament.

I am a christian and I don’t want to go through this ordeal anymore. I have told him my stand and he has threatened to dump me, terming my action as rebellion. I can’t continue like this. I am really losing my mind. I have even noticed he has stopped touching me which to me shows the deteriorating state of our union.

Please advice me, do I break up with him? This is a close shave.


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